


stop the clocks

by Kandiszucker (whatwhy)



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Goodbyes, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 13:22:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8981569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatwhy/pseuds/Kandiszucker
Summary: Yeongjin is leaving Fnatic and Lucas can do nothing about it. But he can still see him one last time. Or at least he can try to.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mint_bun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mint_bun/gifts).



The sparse dull light that filtered through the dirty window drained everything of its color. It carried a heaviness with it that seemed to glue Lucas to his bed, even though his alarm was shouting abuse at him. He halfheartedly reached out to press the snooze button, but cracked one eye open to see if he actually could lie around for another five minutes. Or fifty. But he jolted upright with a curse, for he had intended to get up an hour ago. Anxiously, he grabbed his phone and opened Skype to check if Yeongjin was still online.

He wasn’t.

Lucas jumped out of his bed and scrambled to pick up his clothes from the floor. He opted to forgo the sniff test and shrouded himself in a cloud of deodorant instead. Socks weren’t necessary either, he decided, and slipped into the least garish pair of shoes he could find. With his phone in one hand and a toothbrush in the other, he sent Yeongjin a message.

“Are you still at the airport?”

Yeongjin still hadn’t replied when Lucas spat out the toothpaste and scampered down the stairs of the gaming house.

“Do you know what time it is?”, Ray called after him. “Some people are trying to sleep.”

But Lucas slammed the door shut before Ray could finish his sentence.

 

* * *

 

The closest metro station was a five minute walk away from the house. Three minutes if Lucas ran. He sprinted down the sidewalk, around parked bikes and elderly ladies in an impressive slalom, until he got to the crossing right before the station. It was just his luck that the light was red. He pulled out his phone to check the time. Twenty past eleven. Yeongjin’s flight was scheduled for 12:15. If Lucas caught the next metro, he would be at the airport in twenty minutes. That would leave him with enough time for a final goodbye. Lucas looked up from the phone, at the station across the road, and saw the metro arrive.

The light was still red.

The doors opened and the masses poured out.

The light turned green.

Lucas darted on the street. With screeching tires, a silver BMW cut him off. He jumped back and slung curses at the driver from the top of his lungs, but the BMW sped past him without a care in the world. Lucas anxiously looked at the station, but the train was still there. The doors were still open. With twice the speed as before, Lucas ran towards the station again. He arrived on the platform out of breath, only to see that the treads were folded up already. He hammered against the button of the door, but it was no use. The train set into motion with a hum. Faster and faster it went, disappearing behind some concrete barracks and leaving Lucas behind.

The next train would be there in twenty minutes.

Lucas stomped his foot and screeched a few colorful words. Then he took a deep breath and took out his phone. There had to be buses headed downtown, from where he might take another metro to the airport. It took him a while to decipher the German timetable, but finally he found a bus that would take him to the Ostkreuz. He fished around in his pocket for some change as he headed to the bus stop.

 

* * *

 

The streets were overrun as always. The bus hadn’t moved from the spot in minutes. Around him, cars and other buses were honking and beeping. With shaking hands, Lucas unlocked his phone to check the time and to see if Yeongjin had replied. It was 11:48, and Yeongjin was still not online. Lucas let out a shaky sigh and scrolled further up. Any distraction would do.

Yeongjin’s last message consisted of his flight dates and a heart emoji. Before that, there was a series of Lucas’ complaints about Yeongjin’s imminent departure and in turn Yeongjin’s affirmations that he would miss Lucas terribly. Further and further he scrolled up, until he reached Yeongjin’s invitation to come over to the Fnatic house that fateful night. Lucas tried not to think about it, but the memories wormed their way back into the foreground of his mind.

They had been sitting in Yeongjin’s room, hidden under his blanket with their limbs tangled. A bag of wine gum borrowed from Fabian’s secret candy stash had been lying between them and Yeongjin had been quieter than usual.

“What’s the matter?”, Lucas had asked.

“I go back to Korea soon.” Yeongjin’s reply had been soft and slow as always.

Lucas had felt like his blood was freezing. “You’re kidding.”

“No.”

“How soon?”

“Next week.”

“What? In the middle of the split?”

No reply.

“Why?”

“I don’t like League as much anymore. And I don’t like the team as much anymore.”

“You don’t like being on Fnatic.”

“Everyone says it’s a great team. I must be happy for playing on Fnatic. But no one listens to coach.” Yeongjin had pointed at the sweets between them. “I don’t listen to coach. And the fans want me to go, too.”

“Since when do you listen to some twelve-year-old smart-asses on Reddit?”

“Not just Reddit. Twitter, too. Players on other teams, too. Look, Lucas. Huni was on the team, and they never lost. I am on the team, and we always lose.”

“Bullshit. Look at you. You’re doing more than okay. Your losses are team efforts. Spirit is a good jungler, but his style doesn’t agree with the rest of the team at all. Febiven is a shadow of his former self. Yellowstar is even shadowier and even Rekkles has his moments.”

Yeongjin had sighed. “I think they don’t like me.”

Lucas had shaken his head. “You’re Spirit’s best friend on the team. Rekkles and Yellowstar are praising you to the skies.”

“But I feel alone.”

Lucas had pulled Yeongjin closer and buried his face in Yeongjin’s soft chest. “You aren’t.”

“I miss Korea. And I don’t want to play League.”

“What are you going to do instead?”

“I want to be Overwatch pro.”

“With all your heart?”

“With all my heart.”

Even today, Yeongjin’s heartbeat pounded in Lucas’ ears. Yeongjin’s scent still filled his nostrils and then every corner of his mind. The memory of his unique perfume of body wash and the hint fried meat was so vivid that he could easily imagine Yeongjin was sitting next to him on that bus. His heart was as heavy now as it had been then.

“If you really want this, I can’t stop you. But I’ll miss you. I wish you good luck.” Lucas had wrapped his arms and legs around Yeongjin.

“Thank you. I’ll miss you, too.”

The distorted voice from the audio tape announcing that they had reached the Ostkreuz tore him out of his memories. He jumped out of the bus and hurried inside the station. It was right across from the kiosk where Yeongjin had first told Lucas he loved him.

They had been on their way back home late at night from one of their many secret dates. Yeongjin had been hungry and badgering Lucas until he had finally given in and bought him the wine gum he loved. Yeongjin had stuffed his face with the candy, a soft smile on his lips. Then, ever so carefully, he had taken Lucas’ hand into his own sticky one and turned to him. He had cleared his throat as if he had something world-changing to say.

“I love you.”

And just like that, Lucas’ world had changed.

“I love you, too.”

Yeongjin had dragged him behind the kiosk, where the vendor couldn’t see them, and had kissed him so sweetly. The taste of wine gum had still lingered on his lips and Lucas was tempted to buy himself a bag just for the memory.

“I love you.” Another kiss. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

 

* * *

 

The display over the crowded platform said that his train had a ten minute delay. It was okay, Lucas told himself. He could deal with ten minutes. It wouldn’t make him miss Yeongjin’s departure. And even if it did, that was nothing to cry over. They still had all the times they snuck out of the studio together, all the stolen kisses between games in the narrow hallway that connected the dressing rooms, all the secret dates on their off days. They still had that one time Lucas had taken Yeongjin to the zoo and watched his childlike excitement with awe and adoration. One hug and one kiss wouldn’t make a difference, right? Nothing to cry over. Besides, he was Lucas “Cabochard” Simon-Meslet. He was a textbook example of a stoic toplaner. He was big and strong and a proud bearer of novelty footwear and would not cry in public.

When his train finally arrived at the station, he covertly wiped away his tears before he entered.

 

* * *

 

It was 12:13 when the train arrived at the airport. Lucas shot out of the half-open door like a hornet out of its nest. Passers-by jumped out of his way and he only narrowly avoided a collision with some luggage trolleys. He nearly ran into the sliding doors of the airport. As soon as he could fit through the narrow opening, he sprinted down the hall to the security checks. He knew there was little hope, but when he came closer, he recognized Dayun and Finlay standing next to the security line. They were waving at Yeongjin. Lucas ran as fast as he could.

“Yeongjin!”, he bellowed and came to a skidding halt. “Yeongjin, hey!”

At the end of the hall, right at the gate, Yeongjin turned around. There was confusion written on his face, then excitement. He stretched out his arms and took a step into Lucas’ direction, but the flight company clerk held him back. His face fell.

“Yeongjin!”, Lucas shouted again and set his foot on the barrier. There was a tug on his arm.

“Don’t,” Finlay said.

Lucas reached out to Yeongjin, fifty meters away from him.

Yeongjin waved at him with a sad smile. Lucas could have sworn he saw him wipe away tears when he turned around and disappeared inside the gangway.

Lucas let his arm drop to his side and slid off the barrier before he collapsed to his knees and buried his face in his hands. Finlay’s hand was back on his shoulder. Lucas’ sobs drowned out Finlay’s soothing words.

“Yeongjin,” he whimpered.

“It’s okay, Cabo. He’s not dead.”

“Yeongjin,” Lucas repeated. “Yeongjin, come back.”

Finlay held him when the clerk left her desk by the gate. He still held him when the airport employee announced the departure of Yeongjin’s flight. He didn’t let him go when the flight number disappeared from the displays with a harsh clattering noise. Slowly, Lucas’ tears ran dry and his breathing returned to normal.

Dayun tapped his shoulder. “Cabo, look!” He pointed at the large window next to the now deserted gate.

Lucas looked up. Yeongjin’s plane was racing down the runway, the nose up in the air already. Higher and higher it went, until the rear wheels lost contact with the ground. It seemed to weigh nothing at all when it rose up into the gray skies. Smaller and smaller it became, and then the clouds swallowed it whole.

And Lucas sat still on the ground.

 


End file.
